My Own Unbecoming Thanks to Mara Dyer

It has not even been ten minutes since I finished volume 2 of the Mara Dyer series and I am terribly afraid that if I don't have volume three in my hands very soon, I might not make it. On a friend recommendation (the same friend who recommended Daughter of Smoke and Bone...what an amazing friend she is!) I picked up The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin and never put it down. I read through the enter weekend, ignoring those tests that needed to be corrected, and finished it feeling absolutely enthralled. The suspense and mystery keep you on the edge of your seat. And let's not forget about the one thing that sets my heart racing...

Noah Shaw....Noah Shaw, Noah Shaw, Noah Shaw. What can I say? The moment his English accent graced the page, I was a goner. Noah is the typical bad boy with a soft heart that turns YA readers into mushy fanatics. From his sarcastic attitude, to his mischievous smirk, Noah is the incarnation of desire. And I still haven't figured out if I am ashamed to say that I had to set the book down a few times to calm my racing heart. The sexual tension is there, but that's not all folks! Noah cares. He is Mara's knight in shining armor. He has a soft spot for her in that bad boy image that he's concocted (which gives us readers a soft spot for him). As much as I love the whole girl saves herself mentality, there is nothing like knowing someone is there for you to save you whenever you need it. That female instinct to find a strong man to save her is still there ladies, it's okay to admit it. I would be all too willing to let Noah save me if he were given the chance. Goodness gracious I am getting flustered just thinking about it. I need to move on.

Let's talk about the creeper factor. These books are creepy. I wouldn't recommend reading with the lights off....Well that might make reading impossible. Let me amend that and say I recommend reading with all the lights on and at least two other people with you. (As I am writing this, the lights are out and my dog is staring into the shadows, growling. He has terrible timing when it comes to these kinds of things and is totally freaking me out) There is a constant feeling that Mara needs to look over her shoulder and have a video camera ready to have proof of occurrences for later. Then there is the ultimate question...is Mara really hallucinating everything? Is any of this even real? It's quite possible. I wouldn't put it past Michelle Hodkin. She is a mastermind of the "WTF" factor. I feel like I am losing my skills because, yet again, I have found a series that has thrown me curveballs I never would have seen coming. The end of book two - are you serious? What the heck is going on anymore???

I am at a total loss for words. I think a giant question mark (followed by a <3 for good measure) might sum up how I feel about these books because Michelle Hodkin is an absolute genius and wouldn't let me get off my couch for a whole weekend. I researched for two hours and drove for another just to get the sequel by the end of the day because I just couldn't wait until Tuesday for it to be shipped to my house. My heart has flat out skipped town in protest to the roller coaster I have put it through. Gah! I think I need to reread right this very moment. I'm a gushing teenager all over again.

Now that I've gone off, let's recap.

Descriptions: 

The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Mara Dyer has woken up in a hospital bed with no recollection of how she got there or the events leading up to her admittance. She is told that her best friend, boyfriend, and boyfriend's sister were killed in an accident that she was present for. After moving to Florida to escape the tragedy, experiencing hallucinations, and losing bits of time, Mara finds herself unable to determine what is real and what isn't. She meets a mysterious boy who just might help her discover what is going on...

The Evolution of Mara Dyer

Mara still doesn't know what is happening and Noah is still at a loss for how to help her. Is Jude alive? How did he survive? Why is he torturing her? Will anyone ever believe her? What is real?

So, what are you waiting for?! Go get your copy! You can't have mine, I'm reading it again.

Angelfall - Why did it take me so long to find you?

I'm one of those readers who will start a new series reluctantly if I know the next in line has a while until its publication. If I really enjoy the book I will be forever tormented by the fact that I don't know what happens next (well, at least until the next release).

I bought Angelfall a while back because it was on sale for $0.99 on Amazon and received a few good reviews. Of course, with a brand new release, I waited to read it. I'm typically shy about new books that haven't made much of a fandom yet. So I waited until this weekend to start it when I was stuck away from home with nothing but my cell phone to occupy my time. Then I discovered that I had the kindle app downloaded and ready to go, complete with all my books. I saw Angelfall and decided I had waited enough time to let it settle. I read the entire thing on my phone and only stopped reading long enough to let my phone charge again...



Angelfall starts in the middle of what appears to be the apocalypse. Seventeen year old Penryn has long had the task of taking care of her crippled younger sister, Paige, and her schizophrenic mother. The angels attacking mankind complicates things a bit. Everything goes downhill from there. While attempting to get out, the three get caught in a battle between several angels. In the aftermath, Penryn's mother has run off, Paige has been taken, and a lone angel, Raffe, lies broken on the ground. Penryn saves the angel in the hopes of using him to get her family back together and the two eventually set off to (a) get Paige back, and (b) reattach the Raffe's wings. A sort of companionship forms between the two as they witness the evidence of death and destruction on their journey, but it is strained by the fact that they are on two opposing sides of a war. Will Penryn bring her family back together again? Can she trust Raffe? What will come of this deal they have made?

As with most first in series, I loved this book. Susan Ee held nothing back to save the reader from the shock of what happens in an apocalyptic war. Because of this, I would not recommend this book for young teens/pre-teens. Some people might argue with me, but I think it gets a little gory (though it's realistic and not in too much of a disgusting way). Aside from this, I like Penryn's strong character. She is not a damsel in distress. She is a trained fighter with a strong will to protect. I also liked that she isn't like other protagonists who fall head over heels in love with the gorgeous, brooding male who happens into her life. Even though she admits to his good looks, and there are moments of guards being let down, she is always aware of the fact that he is an angel. He is the enemy. 

I loved that Susan Ee used the angels as the bad guys. There is now quite a following for young adult fantasy romance involving relationships between helpless girls and beautiful angels (don't get me wrong, I cling to those stories), and here we have something unexpected. It's a survival story. Not a love story. The question is: what are these characters trying to survive? Yes, they are surviving the attack of seemingly monstrous beings, but there is something more. 

Loyalty seems to be the underlying root of the story here and I respect that. So many recent stories are founded on a "boy meets girl, girl falls for boy, and the world tries to tear them apart" kind of relationship. Though there are elements of a love story forming, I still see that loyalty is what ties all the characters together: Penryn to Paige and her mom, Raffe to the angels, the angels to Raffe (well some of them anyways - don't forget it was other angels who attacked him). And what about loyalty to your own race? Is that what's most important? Or does that change when your own race turns its back on you or is unable to see the good in others?



...Once I reached the end of the book, I kept thinking that I would go directly to amazon and buy the sequel because I just couldn't leave off with the end that was given to me. I was hungry to know more. Little did I know, I wasn't the only one hungry for more. Fans have been (im)patiently waiting for the next book to be released and are still waiting. I can now count myself among the numbers who will constantly check Susan Ee's blog for a miracle that the next release date has been moved up a few months. Why Susan Ee? Why must you write such an amazing story and then make us wait over a year for the sequel??? And since this is supposedly a five book series I see a lot of waiting in my future.

Reached - Matched Trilogy Book 3

The first book in a series is usually the introduction: of the characters, of the plot, of the conflict. The second book is typically the journey: across worlds, through understandings, toward a solution. The third book is the hopeful resolution of the initial, or sometimes new, conflict. This is typically what I have found about books in a trilogy. Though sometimes, it's not always true. Mockingjay, from Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games trilogy, did not find a resolution to Katniss' problem. She could not save her family from the evils of the world and she could not rid the world of an imperfect government. What Mockingjay did provide us, however, is an understanding that things will not always work out the way we want or plan for them to. We must learn to cope and survive through the surprise, the pain, and the horror of reality.

This is exactly how I felt while reading Ally Condie's Reached. While reading Matched, I was immediately enthralled in Cassia's and Ky's forbidden love and Xander's hope of winning Cassia over. I felt for the characters who desired to be more, to do more, to have the freedom to choose for themselves. Crossed was a little more difficult for me to hold on to, but I still felt the sense of literal and figurative journeys the characters underwent in order to become the people who would save themselves and the rest of the world.

In Reached, we begin shortly after we left off, with the love triangle separated once again, but using their own strengths to help the Rising. Soon the Rising takes over and carries out its plan to take control of the Provinces and win the hearts of its citizens, but we all know things never go according to plan. What began as a source of persuasion behind the Rising, starts to become its downfall. People are beginning to doubt everything they ever knew, everything they've come to hope for, and everything that could ever be. It is then up to Cassia, Ky, and Xander to save everything.

Even though this is the third book in the trilogy, the characters still have a bit of growing to do before they can reach their solution/salvation. This is evident in the mere length of the book (509 pages). With this continued journey I found it difficult to really get lost in the book. I just kept thinking, "Can't anything ever go right? Can they just be together? Or is this whole story going to end with everyone dying in the end?" I admit, I became hopeless at points, but maybe that's what Ally Condie wanted us to feel. She wanted us to understand the hopelessness of constant setbacks and no light at the end of the tunnel.

*Brief Spoiler Alert*
There are parts of the book that I don't like at all mostly because I'm a hopeless romantic and I want everyone to end up with a happy ending. I still don't like Indie. I never have, but I admire her spirit. There's something to be said about a girl who does what she wants because she has not inhibitions. And maybe it's the fact that there was no certainty of tomorrow for her or anyone that she felt she needed to express her emotions to Ky. Either way, my strong sense of loyalty could not believe Cassia's friend could so easily forget her. That may be the only major issue I have and it's not at all in the writing, but in the reality of human nature. We're selfish and we take what we want.

That being said, I love the story. I respect it, and I will most certainly enjoy reading it again. As I reached the end of the book, I found myself trying to understand what was going on. I tried to get a feel for what Ally Condie was putting out there for us to read instead of just living in the story. Maybe I always want there to be a solution. Maybe I hope that, even if life can't give happy endings to us, that happy endings for anyone are possible somewhere. Unfortunately, hoping isn't enough. Reached brought up the fact that, like in Mockingjay, salvation is not always possible. There will always be conflict. What matters is how we deal with it. So Reached did not end with a joyous reunion between all the characters and their loved ones, setting off in the sunset to live out their lives happily ever after. It ended with the hope that the characters can learn to overcome the hardships they have endured and create a world where people are free to choose.

What sticks with me the most is the understanding both Xander and Cassia come to within themselves. Things change. Events change who we are and how we look at everything around us. There is no going back. You can't bring back the dead. You can't go back and relive a happy memory, a happier life. You can only move on. Maybe we owe it to the people who came before, but most of all we owe it to ourselves. We might not always be happy with what life throws at us, it might even tear us apart, but we have the will to survive, and we have each other.

 The Pilot could be any one of us. He is no one and he is everyone. There is always hope.

The Fault in Our Stars - Beautiful and Bittersweet

There is something desperate about the way people fall in love. It's as if the limited days we have on this earth are even shorter than we are told and we try to compensate by falling into things without hesitation.

What if falling in love was not even an option? What if our lives were cut shorter than we'd hoped and all those possibilities were taken from us? What if we were to find someone when it was too late? How do we cope with knowing that we found them only to lose them soon after?

In a beautifully tragic telling of one girl's struggle to cope with her diagnosis, we see the world through the eyes of a dying cancer patient. Hazel Grace Lancaster has bought a little time through a miracle called Phalanxifor, but she still copes with the fact that it may not be enough time to live a full life. Her mother insists that she attend a Support Group to help Hazel cope, and it is in this support group that Hazel meets Augustus Waters, the friendly, charismatic, and extremely good looking boy who will bring her back to life.

Their friendship is something that cannot be explained through words. It can only be felt. They found each other when they needed each other most and they fell in love in the only way that life allowed, "slowly, and then all at once."

I judge books by the quotes I take from them.  It's like what people say about friends, "Quality, not quantity," but to be honest, the more quotes that stick with me, the more I like the book. I usually write down these quotes so I can remember them always and go back to them without having to remember the page (though that's not too difficult since I pretty much memorize exactly when the quote takes place). I began recording the first few quotes that grabbed me, starting on page 12 (9 pages in). I soon realized that The Fault In Our Stars was bursting at the seems with quotes that I would want to come back to again and again. That's how I knew this book was going to change me. I don't know if this change will last, but I guess that's why I keep all my books, so I can read them again and be forever changed...again.

I fell in love with The Fault In Our Stars the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. (To quote this already highly quoted line.) This is the second of John Green's books that I've read (the first, Looking for Alaska, grabbed hold immediately and never let go) and his writing still amazes me. The simplistic way in which he focuses on the characters themselves and the events surrounding their own tragedies makes the characters real to me. He doesn't need to describe every room, every sunset, every detail about a person's face for you to understand the story behind it all.

I began reading yesterday at 5:00 and only stopped to eat dinner. After, I never put the book down. Unless you are an avid reader like me, I cannot explain to you how Hazel and Augustus' story took hold of me and lodged itself within my heart, refusing to loosen its grip. I laughed. I cried. I cried while laughing. I laughed while crying. I finished at 2:30 in the morning and stayed in that position, rereading passages and sobbing for another hour while I tried to tell myself it was just a story. The only problem is, it's not just a story. Somewhere out there, there is a Hazel Grace Lancaster and an Augustus Waters, trying to survive for themselves and for each other and that just rips my heart out.

I seem to be pouring my heart out too much. You could think I'm an idiot for crying so much over a fictional story, but please read this book, as so many already have. Let John Green open your eyes to what is most important, to live and love and be loved. Don't let life's difficult lessons keep you from experiencing the full range of emotions that only we are capable of feeling. Open your eyes and your heart and live.

Maybe okay will be our always. 

A Journey Into History

Once again, Deborah Harkness brings another masterpiece to life. Shadow of Night had me gripping onto the pages, at the edge of my seat, up at all hours of the night waiting to find out what happens to Diana Bishop and her beloved Matthew de Clairmont. As someone who quickly loses herself in history when given the chance, I was fascinated by Harkness' attention to detail and incorporation of significant historical figures during the lovebirds' trip into the past. Diana and Matthew meet new struggles as they find themselves in sixteenth century Europe. How will Diana fit in when she so clearly stands out, even in her own time? Can they possibly find a witch to teach Diana to control her power in a world where witches are being searched out and killed for being different? Will their relationship withstand the continual challenges sent their way? Can the two find the mysterious Ashmole 782?

I cannot answer these questions for you because, alas, I do not write reviews that give away even a hint of details about the book. That, my friend, is for you to discover. I will say, however, that if you enjoyed A Discovery of Witches, you will most certainly enjoy Shadow of Night. You will quickly get lost in Elizabethan London and find yourself talking in more formal tones during everyday conversation. You may even plan to dress in the morning and realize you only have jeans and t-shirts, not flowing skirts and petticoats. Set aside a weekend to be swept up in this beautifully written, historically influenced love story of struggle and learning how to overcome your deepest fears and inner struggles. Do not be discouraged by the book's length either. You will love every minute of it just as I did. My only disappointment is that I have to wait so long for the third book to be released.

A Discovery.

Just try to guess what book this is about, just try! Ok, good guess, it's Deborah Harkness' A Discovery of Witches and my mind is completely blown. Deborah brings together a beautiful mix of history, romance, suspense, and mystery. When the book first came out, I was interested mostly because I liked the color of the cover (yes, I'm superficial like that). I read the synopsis and my interest was peaked, but unfortunately the price and my long list of "Need to Reads" seemed to be looming over me. Needless to say, I began reading it last Tuesday after a friend recommended it to me and loaned me hers (my friends have the best tastes when it comes to books).

So Tuesday at midnight it began, and on it continued into Wednesday while I sat patiently at the courthouse to hear if they wanted me to be a juror. Reading for eight hours instead of correcting tests was time well spent. I could not put this book down, a difficult task since the book is nearly 600 pages. Finally, I thought, an excellent fantasy read that I don't have to pull out my high school Aeropostale clothes to buy (If you have no idea what I mean, young women such as myself may feel slightly bashful to admit to the amount of young adult novels they fawn over). I am going to digress for a moment, and please don't stop reading at what I am about to say: A Discovery of Witches is my new Twilight. There, I said it. Why? Twilight brought me into the world of YA. I was familiar with Tolstoy, Hardy, Lawrence and all the other authors whose classy romance fiction novels have been considered Literature, and have been read in many English classes. However, once I read Twilight, I was a goner. I reacted the way every author wishes his or her readers to react and when I was done reading, I read the series again. I am pretty sure I was in love with Edward, and not the "oh my gosh I love that character" kind of love. I mean when another girl said she loved him, I became the jealous girlfriend and had to stop talking to said female before I destroyed her pretty hair. So, Twilight was my go to book to get those fuzzy feelings.

It's been a few years since I read the books and I have probably found ones that I love more, but that first reaction will always stick with me. That is how I feel about Deborah's book. I slept only 8 hours this weekend because I did not want to stop reading. I forgot to eat meals and nearly refused to go Christmas tree shopping with my family just so I could keep reading. Then, when I finished all 594 pages, I wished there were more. Now I constantly fantasize about the world and the characters, and I have decided I want to go back to school to study history. I want Diana's job. And I wouldn't complain if I happened to meet a handsome vampire while in the Bodleian Library either. So, let's just say I am enthralled.

Do I need to say it was well written? I think my ranting and raving say it all. I can't really say much else because my discovery of this book (see what I did there?) and my love for it were so unexpected that I would not have wanted anyone to tell me anything more than the synopsis. The story progresses from Diana's seemingly innocent historian life to utter chaos in a matter of weeks, but it feels like a lifetime, even for the characters. The unexpected mysteries behind Diana's heritage slowly start to trickle into the story, and like all unexpected twists and turns, they are utterly brilliant. Okay, okay, sometimes I had to step back and think, "Wait, what? Seriously?" But Harkness incorporates every detail so well that even the things you weren't expecting or didn't even want to know make the story what it is, a masterpiece.

Oh and don't forget Diana's stubborn insistence on being independent. Strong female protagonists have become more and more common and Diana is no exception. She will do what she wants to do, say what she wants to say, and isn't afraid to do the exact opposite of someone's good advice just for the sake of not being told what to do. But there is a flaw in her need to take care of herself, and Diana soon realizes it. Sometimes, I just wanted to smack her and tell her to get over it and let the guy open the door for you, but that's Diana and I love her.

All in all, an excellent read and a must have for my growing library. Okay, I'm done with this completely random and terrible review, because the sequel was just delivered and I am going into my cave.

Female Protagonist

All these books with beautiful love stories and strong female protagonists leave me with such conflicting emotions: Treat me like a damsel in distress so I can get angry and assert my stubborn independence, but fall for you nonetheless. It doesn't help that the gentleman in question is drop dead gorgeous, mysterious and brooding half the time, but with a soft spot for characters I can relate to. Damn you fiction. You make me wish there were evil monsters set out to kill me just so I can fall madly in love with the man I would give up everything for but not find peace together until after 1500 pages.

Tears of Sad Happiness...Is that even possible?

I just finished Rapture, the fourth book in the Fallen Series. I loved the series when it first came out and followed it as each new book was published. I am a sucker for love stories and this series provides the love story of the ages, as it is actually called by one of the characters in the book. I had an idea of the mystery behind who Luce was and what her destiny was, though I had a minor detail or two wrong. The ending is tragically beautiful and made me cry. I am not afraid to say it. I have a lot invested in these characters. But why, oh why, does it have to end?

One can only hope they have their own Daniel Grigori to always find them and sweep them off their feet again and again. Oh how I long to gaze into those violet eyes and see pure love and devotion reflected in them...

"Love is the only thing worth fighting for." - Daniel Grigori, Rapture