My Own Unbecoming Thanks to Mara Dyer

It has not even been ten minutes since I finished volume 2 of the Mara Dyer series and I am terribly afraid that if I don't have volume three in my hands very soon, I might not make it. On a friend recommendation (the same friend who recommended Daughter of Smoke and Bone...what an amazing friend she is!) I picked up The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin and never put it down. I read through the enter weekend, ignoring those tests that needed to be corrected, and finished it feeling absolutely enthralled. The suspense and mystery keep you on the edge of your seat. And let's not forget about the one thing that sets my heart racing...

Noah Shaw....Noah Shaw, Noah Shaw, Noah Shaw. What can I say? The moment his English accent graced the page, I was a goner. Noah is the typical bad boy with a soft heart that turns YA readers into mushy fanatics. From his sarcastic attitude, to his mischievous smirk, Noah is the incarnation of desire. And I still haven't figured out if I am ashamed to say that I had to set the book down a few times to calm my racing heart. The sexual tension is there, but that's not all folks! Noah cares. He is Mara's knight in shining armor. He has a soft spot for her in that bad boy image that he's concocted (which gives us readers a soft spot for him). As much as I love the whole girl saves herself mentality, there is nothing like knowing someone is there for you to save you whenever you need it. That female instinct to find a strong man to save her is still there ladies, it's okay to admit it. I would be all too willing to let Noah save me if he were given the chance. Goodness gracious I am getting flustered just thinking about it. I need to move on.

Let's talk about the creeper factor. These books are creepy. I wouldn't recommend reading with the lights off....Well that might make reading impossible. Let me amend that and say I recommend reading with all the lights on and at least two other people with you. (As I am writing this, the lights are out and my dog is staring into the shadows, growling. He has terrible timing when it comes to these kinds of things and is totally freaking me out) There is a constant feeling that Mara needs to look over her shoulder and have a video camera ready to have proof of occurrences for later. Then there is the ultimate question...is Mara really hallucinating everything? Is any of this even real? It's quite possible. I wouldn't put it past Michelle Hodkin. She is a mastermind of the "WTF" factor. I feel like I am losing my skills because, yet again, I have found a series that has thrown me curveballs I never would have seen coming. The end of book two - are you serious? What the heck is going on anymore???

I am at a total loss for words. I think a giant question mark (followed by a <3 for good measure) might sum up how I feel about these books because Michelle Hodkin is an absolute genius and wouldn't let me get off my couch for a whole weekend. I researched for two hours and drove for another just to get the sequel by the end of the day because I just couldn't wait until Tuesday for it to be shipped to my house. My heart has flat out skipped town in protest to the roller coaster I have put it through. Gah! I think I need to reread right this very moment. I'm a gushing teenager all over again.

Now that I've gone off, let's recap.

Descriptions: 

The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Mara Dyer has woken up in a hospital bed with no recollection of how she got there or the events leading up to her admittance. She is told that her best friend, boyfriend, and boyfriend's sister were killed in an accident that she was present for. After moving to Florida to escape the tragedy, experiencing hallucinations, and losing bits of time, Mara finds herself unable to determine what is real and what isn't. She meets a mysterious boy who just might help her discover what is going on...

The Evolution of Mara Dyer

Mara still doesn't know what is happening and Noah is still at a loss for how to help her. Is Jude alive? How did he survive? Why is he torturing her? Will anyone ever believe her? What is real?

So, what are you waiting for?! Go get your copy! You can't have mine, I'm reading it again.

Angelfall - Why did it take me so long to find you?

I'm one of those readers who will start a new series reluctantly if I know the next in line has a while until its publication. If I really enjoy the book I will be forever tormented by the fact that I don't know what happens next (well, at least until the next release).

I bought Angelfall a while back because it was on sale for $0.99 on Amazon and received a few good reviews. Of course, with a brand new release, I waited to read it. I'm typically shy about new books that haven't made much of a fandom yet. So I waited until this weekend to start it when I was stuck away from home with nothing but my cell phone to occupy my time. Then I discovered that I had the kindle app downloaded and ready to go, complete with all my books. I saw Angelfall and decided I had waited enough time to let it settle. I read the entire thing on my phone and only stopped reading long enough to let my phone charge again...



Angelfall starts in the middle of what appears to be the apocalypse. Seventeen year old Penryn has long had the task of taking care of her crippled younger sister, Paige, and her schizophrenic mother. The angels attacking mankind complicates things a bit. Everything goes downhill from there. While attempting to get out, the three get caught in a battle between several angels. In the aftermath, Penryn's mother has run off, Paige has been taken, and a lone angel, Raffe, lies broken on the ground. Penryn saves the angel in the hopes of using him to get her family back together and the two eventually set off to (a) get Paige back, and (b) reattach the Raffe's wings. A sort of companionship forms between the two as they witness the evidence of death and destruction on their journey, but it is strained by the fact that they are on two opposing sides of a war. Will Penryn bring her family back together again? Can she trust Raffe? What will come of this deal they have made?

As with most first in series, I loved this book. Susan Ee held nothing back to save the reader from the shock of what happens in an apocalyptic war. Because of this, I would not recommend this book for young teens/pre-teens. Some people might argue with me, but I think it gets a little gory (though it's realistic and not in too much of a disgusting way). Aside from this, I like Penryn's strong character. She is not a damsel in distress. She is a trained fighter with a strong will to protect. I also liked that she isn't like other protagonists who fall head over heels in love with the gorgeous, brooding male who happens into her life. Even though she admits to his good looks, and there are moments of guards being let down, she is always aware of the fact that he is an angel. He is the enemy. 

I loved that Susan Ee used the angels as the bad guys. There is now quite a following for young adult fantasy romance involving relationships between helpless girls and beautiful angels (don't get me wrong, I cling to those stories), and here we have something unexpected. It's a survival story. Not a love story. The question is: what are these characters trying to survive? Yes, they are surviving the attack of seemingly monstrous beings, but there is something more. 

Loyalty seems to be the underlying root of the story here and I respect that. So many recent stories are founded on a "boy meets girl, girl falls for boy, and the world tries to tear them apart" kind of relationship. Though there are elements of a love story forming, I still see that loyalty is what ties all the characters together: Penryn to Paige and her mom, Raffe to the angels, the angels to Raffe (well some of them anyways - don't forget it was other angels who attacked him). And what about loyalty to your own race? Is that what's most important? Or does that change when your own race turns its back on you or is unable to see the good in others?



...Once I reached the end of the book, I kept thinking that I would go directly to amazon and buy the sequel because I just couldn't leave off with the end that was given to me. I was hungry to know more. Little did I know, I wasn't the only one hungry for more. Fans have been (im)patiently waiting for the next book to be released and are still waiting. I can now count myself among the numbers who will constantly check Susan Ee's blog for a miracle that the next release date has been moved up a few months. Why Susan Ee? Why must you write such an amazing story and then make us wait over a year for the sequel??? And since this is supposedly a five book series I see a lot of waiting in my future.

Reached - Matched Trilogy Book 3

The first book in a series is usually the introduction: of the characters, of the plot, of the conflict. The second book is typically the journey: across worlds, through understandings, toward a solution. The third book is the hopeful resolution of the initial, or sometimes new, conflict. This is typically what I have found about books in a trilogy. Though sometimes, it's not always true. Mockingjay, from Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games trilogy, did not find a resolution to Katniss' problem. She could not save her family from the evils of the world and she could not rid the world of an imperfect government. What Mockingjay did provide us, however, is an understanding that things will not always work out the way we want or plan for them to. We must learn to cope and survive through the surprise, the pain, and the horror of reality.

This is exactly how I felt while reading Ally Condie's Reached. While reading Matched, I was immediately enthralled in Cassia's and Ky's forbidden love and Xander's hope of winning Cassia over. I felt for the characters who desired to be more, to do more, to have the freedom to choose for themselves. Crossed was a little more difficult for me to hold on to, but I still felt the sense of literal and figurative journeys the characters underwent in order to become the people who would save themselves and the rest of the world.

In Reached, we begin shortly after we left off, with the love triangle separated once again, but using their own strengths to help the Rising. Soon the Rising takes over and carries out its plan to take control of the Provinces and win the hearts of its citizens, but we all know things never go according to plan. What began as a source of persuasion behind the Rising, starts to become its downfall. People are beginning to doubt everything they ever knew, everything they've come to hope for, and everything that could ever be. It is then up to Cassia, Ky, and Xander to save everything.

Even though this is the third book in the trilogy, the characters still have a bit of growing to do before they can reach their solution/salvation. This is evident in the mere length of the book (509 pages). With this continued journey I found it difficult to really get lost in the book. I just kept thinking, "Can't anything ever go right? Can they just be together? Or is this whole story going to end with everyone dying in the end?" I admit, I became hopeless at points, but maybe that's what Ally Condie wanted us to feel. She wanted us to understand the hopelessness of constant setbacks and no light at the end of the tunnel.

*Brief Spoiler Alert*
There are parts of the book that I don't like at all mostly because I'm a hopeless romantic and I want everyone to end up with a happy ending. I still don't like Indie. I never have, but I admire her spirit. There's something to be said about a girl who does what she wants because she has not inhibitions. And maybe it's the fact that there was no certainty of tomorrow for her or anyone that she felt she needed to express her emotions to Ky. Either way, my strong sense of loyalty could not believe Cassia's friend could so easily forget her. That may be the only major issue I have and it's not at all in the writing, but in the reality of human nature. We're selfish and we take what we want.

That being said, I love the story. I respect it, and I will most certainly enjoy reading it again. As I reached the end of the book, I found myself trying to understand what was going on. I tried to get a feel for what Ally Condie was putting out there for us to read instead of just living in the story. Maybe I always want there to be a solution. Maybe I hope that, even if life can't give happy endings to us, that happy endings for anyone are possible somewhere. Unfortunately, hoping isn't enough. Reached brought up the fact that, like in Mockingjay, salvation is not always possible. There will always be conflict. What matters is how we deal with it. So Reached did not end with a joyous reunion between all the characters and their loved ones, setting off in the sunset to live out their lives happily ever after. It ended with the hope that the characters can learn to overcome the hardships they have endured and create a world where people are free to choose.

What sticks with me the most is the understanding both Xander and Cassia come to within themselves. Things change. Events change who we are and how we look at everything around us. There is no going back. You can't bring back the dead. You can't go back and relive a happy memory, a happier life. You can only move on. Maybe we owe it to the people who came before, but most of all we owe it to ourselves. We might not always be happy with what life throws at us, it might even tear us apart, but we have the will to survive, and we have each other.

 The Pilot could be any one of us. He is no one and he is everyone. There is always hope.

The Fault in Our Stars - Beautiful and Bittersweet

There is something desperate about the way people fall in love. It's as if the limited days we have on this earth are even shorter than we are told and we try to compensate by falling into things without hesitation.

What if falling in love was not even an option? What if our lives were cut shorter than we'd hoped and all those possibilities were taken from us? What if we were to find someone when it was too late? How do we cope with knowing that we found them only to lose them soon after?

In a beautifully tragic telling of one girl's struggle to cope with her diagnosis, we see the world through the eyes of a dying cancer patient. Hazel Grace Lancaster has bought a little time through a miracle called Phalanxifor, but she still copes with the fact that it may not be enough time to live a full life. Her mother insists that she attend a Support Group to help Hazel cope, and it is in this support group that Hazel meets Augustus Waters, the friendly, charismatic, and extremely good looking boy who will bring her back to life.

Their friendship is something that cannot be explained through words. It can only be felt. They found each other when they needed each other most and they fell in love in the only way that life allowed, "slowly, and then all at once."

I judge books by the quotes I take from them.  It's like what people say about friends, "Quality, not quantity," but to be honest, the more quotes that stick with me, the more I like the book. I usually write down these quotes so I can remember them always and go back to them without having to remember the page (though that's not too difficult since I pretty much memorize exactly when the quote takes place). I began recording the first few quotes that grabbed me, starting on page 12 (9 pages in). I soon realized that The Fault In Our Stars was bursting at the seems with quotes that I would want to come back to again and again. That's how I knew this book was going to change me. I don't know if this change will last, but I guess that's why I keep all my books, so I can read them again and be forever changed...again.

I fell in love with The Fault In Our Stars the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. (To quote this already highly quoted line.) This is the second of John Green's books that I've read (the first, Looking for Alaska, grabbed hold immediately and never let go) and his writing still amazes me. The simplistic way in which he focuses on the characters themselves and the events surrounding their own tragedies makes the characters real to me. He doesn't need to describe every room, every sunset, every detail about a person's face for you to understand the story behind it all.

I began reading yesterday at 5:00 and only stopped to eat dinner. After, I never put the book down. Unless you are an avid reader like me, I cannot explain to you how Hazel and Augustus' story took hold of me and lodged itself within my heart, refusing to loosen its grip. I laughed. I cried. I cried while laughing. I laughed while crying. I finished at 2:30 in the morning and stayed in that position, rereading passages and sobbing for another hour while I tried to tell myself it was just a story. The only problem is, it's not just a story. Somewhere out there, there is a Hazel Grace Lancaster and an Augustus Waters, trying to survive for themselves and for each other and that just rips my heart out.

I seem to be pouring my heart out too much. You could think I'm an idiot for crying so much over a fictional story, but please read this book, as so many already have. Let John Green open your eyes to what is most important, to live and love and be loved. Don't let life's difficult lessons keep you from experiencing the full range of emotions that only we are capable of feeling. Open your eyes and your heart and live.

Maybe okay will be our always. 

Critique Giveaway!

It looks like Lindsay Cummings is providing her fans with another amazing giveaway. Are you an aspiring writer? Would you like to have your work critiqued by another writer (whose book, The Murder Complex, will be coming out in 2014)? Are you looking to clean up a few chapters to prepare to submit a query? Then this is the giveaway for you!

I found this giveaway through twitter and as before cannot wait to see the results. By going to

 -> Lindsay's blog <-

you will be given numerous chances to enter to win. How do you enter? Simply sign in using Facebook and give permissions to the contest app or create an account with the app itself. You will have other chances to submit further entries by liking Lindsay's facebook page, following @lindsaycwrites (lindsay herself), @harperteen and @lacherenda (an aspiring editor) on twitter, tweeting and blogging about the giveaway, and adding her book on GoodReads to your "to read" list.

This is another great opportunity for aspiring writers to get help with their works. If you want to receive some great advice on your work, you need to check this out! Thanks again Lindsay!

I Write

So I have this book that I am writing. It's great. It's different. It's been in progress for a long time.

It took me months to tell anyone my ideas for fear of being criticized. Then I realized that's what books need. Writing needs a second, third, maybe hundredth pair of eyes to help perfect the ideas and writing within. 

So I've told my closest friends and family. They know I dream of writing. They were initially shocked at the notion given that I teach mathematics at a high school. I am a mystery, I guess. But I'm finally opening myself up to the idea of just sitting down and finishing it.

What is stopping me? My lack of time is certainly keeping me from picking it up. I think I'm more afraid that what I finish with is going to be much different than what I started with. I don't want my book to be like everyone else's. I want my book to be different. I want it to be unique. I want it to be successful all on its own and not because it's just like all the other books out there. 

I'm beginning to learn that a different end product wouldn't be the end of the world. Maybe, just maybe, it will be even better than what I thought. 

Another problem? I write it. I mean I literally hand write my book. It's in one of my favorite journals that is leather bound, making it look completely awesome. This makes the process much messier for editing and much longer in time. I will not change it though. I like it this way. I'm also on the last few pages of the journal and nowhere near the end. I think I need to write smaller. 

Are you a reader? Are you a writer? Do you fear the same things as me? What do you do to get in the writing mood? Mac or PC? Fountain Pen or pencil? Music or silence? How many times do you reread a passage before you are satisfied with it? Do you write in passages or from start to finish? Where do you get your ideas from? I'd love to hear from you :)

Author's Giveaway

I have given in and gotten a twitter account to stay better connected with my favorite authors and the books they write. I am extremely glad I did this. Today, I found a post about a giveaway by author Lindsay Cummings, whose book The Murder Complex comes out next year. She is giving out a bookshelf full of amazing prizes including a critique of one lucky person's writing by her own agent!!! As amazing as all the ARCs would be, I am sure this is the prize everyone is hoping for, me included. I'd finally let someone read my book for the FIRST TIME EVER! Not even my muse (aunt/second mom/inspirational coach) has read my work. Oh please, oh please, oh please let me win this!! Lindsay, if you are reading this, I will forever be in your debt if it's me! :) 

It is truly amazing that any authors do things like this for their fans. Some people may say it's only a way to advertise their own work, but they can definitely do that in other ways. Giveaways are what make the reading world go round (among other things) and I thank you Lindsay, for being so generous. I would also like to thank your agent for lending out his/her time to help an aspiring writer (whoever that winner may be). 

And one last thing, I am beyond excited that this author is, wait for it, 21 years old! Can you believe it? For an author that young to be successful gives hope of being published to others. It makes me realize that maybe the literary world isn't all about big names, getting five doctorates, and teaching university classes for several years before someone can actually write about what they enjoy. Lindsay, I congratulate you and hope you are immensely successful. I cannot wait to read your new book!


If you want to enter in the contest, here is the link!
Lindsay Cummings 2013 Giveaway

Good luck to you!